Essay #1 For Final

Tashae Bowman

April 4, 2014       

Essay #3

                                                                Divorced Household?

Divorce can be a stressful experience for both parents, but the matter becomes all the more complicated when there’s a child or are children involved. As a child who grew up dealing with parents who split before I was conceived, I saw firsthand the trials and the tribulations a child goes through in this closed system. During the time it seemed to be the most stressful situation ever. Along the way I had to undergo many things such as arguments, tears, and evil step parents. I use the term “closed system” due to the fact that each divorce is dealt with confidentially and each family has its own way of life. In a divorced household culture, it’s best to keep the peace and divide the time wisely between each parent. Those two steps can be the difference between a stressful household or a manageable household.

During this troubling divorce, it’s most likely that there will be plenty of court dates and trials. When it comes down to the child dealing with divorce, it’s best to keep to remain calm due to the fact there may be a lot of arguing and fighting. In a lot of cases, the want for the upper hand in authority seems to be the main issue between the prior spouses. This was the biggest reason for my parents arguments; since I resided with my dad he, wouldn’t want me to do certain things that my mother wanted me to and when I was with my mom, she was the same . For example, my mother constantly had family reunions, most were out of town. As much as she wanted me to get my homework ahead of time and attend the gathering, my dad felt as though it wasn’t a good enough reason for me to miss school.   As the child, I had to always remain fair, meaning I always made an effort to keep in touch with my mother since I didn’t reside with her basically lessoning her stress and keeping  the peace between her and I neutral.

With all the complications between each parent, the child would also be best to dividing the time wisely. Let it be known that you need both to stay in your life by physically and verbally expressing your love. Spending quality time with each parent evenly not only will help the divorce be more manageable, but also show that you don’t want to be only in one parent’s life. Another major issue I faced was when my mother felt as if I didn’t care about her. The separation on top of a child that doesn’t care about their parent can be the most hurtful situation out of it all for the parent less seen. For example, I hadn’t seen my mom for two weeks, so she thought I didn’t care about her anymore and felt unloved.  Divorce is much easier to deal with when both the parents get along; as well as the child and or children’s relationship with each parent.

If a person follows these steps, the chances of having a manageable household is higher, other than not putting forth an effort in trying to keep the peace or dividing time. From the provided information, not only will the parents be impacted but also the child? As we all know divorce is a stressful situation so being able to find any sense of relief would be good for the upbringing of each household. Considering the fact that during this time the process can be extremely emotional and confusing for the child and or children involved, my best advice to the parents is to never have the child choose. It will worsen the situation and the outcome of having a manageable household will decrease, and the chances of having a stressful household will increase.