Tashae Bowman
April 4, 2014
Essay #3
Divorced
Household?
Divorce can be a
stressful experience for both parents, but the matter becomes all the more
complicated when there’s a child or are children involved. As a child who grew
up dealing with parents who split before I was conceived, I saw firsthand the
trials and the tribulations a child goes through in this closed system. During
the time it seemed to be the most stressful situation ever. Along the way I had
to undergo many things such as arguments, tears, and evil step parents. I use the term “closed system”
due to the fact that each divorce is dealt with confidentially and each family
has its own way of life. In a divorced household culture, it’s best to
keep the peace and divide the time wisely between each parent. Those two steps
can be the difference between a stressful household or a manageable household.
During this
troubling divorce, it’s most likely that there will be plenty of court dates
and trials. When it comes down to the child dealing with divorce, it’s best to
keep to remain calm
due to the fact there may be a lot of arguing and fighting. In a lot of cases,
the want for the upper hand in authority seems to be the main issue between the
prior spouses. This was the biggest reason for my parents arguments; since I
resided with my dad he, wouldn’t want me to do certain things that my mother
wanted me to and when I was with my mom, she was the same . For example, my mother
constantly had family reunions, most were out of town. As much as she wanted me
to get my homework ahead of time and attend the gathering, my dad felt as
though it wasn’t a good enough reason for me to miss school. As the
child, I had to always remain fair, meaning I always made an effort to keep in
touch with my mother since I didn’t reside with her basically lessoning her
stress and keeping the peace between her
and I neutral.
With all the complications
between each parent, the child would also be best to dividing the time wisely.
Let it be known that you need both to stay in your life by physically and
verbally expressing your love. Spending quality time with each parent evenly
not only will help the divorce be more manageable, but also show that you don’t
want to be only in one parent’s life. Another major issue I faced was when my
mother felt as if I didn’t care about her. The separation on top of a child
that doesn’t care about their parent can be the most hurtful situation out of
it all for the parent less seen. For example, I hadn’t seen my mom for two weeks, so she thought I didn’t
care about her anymore and felt unloved. Divorce is much easier to deal with when both
the parents get along; as well as the child and or children’s relationship with
each parent.
If a person
follows these steps, the chances of having a manageable household is higher,
other than not putting forth an effort in trying to keep the peace or dividing
time. From the provided information, not only will the parents be impacted but
also the child? As we all know divorce is a stressful situation so being able
to find any sense of relief would be good for the upbringing of each household.
Considering the fact that during this time the process can be extremely
emotional and confusing for the child and or children involved, my best advice
to the parents is to never have the child choose. It will worsen the situation
and the outcome of having a manageable household will decrease, and the chances
of having a stressful household will increase.
